you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
