dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
