I think i peed on brittanys purse
and you said cock pushups were impossible
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
