I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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