party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
