This girl is more easily done than said...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
