I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
