TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
