Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
