remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
