you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
