He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
