Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
