Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
