dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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