Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
