i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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