Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
