the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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