At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
