I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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