I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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