At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
