she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize