Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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