Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
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I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
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I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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