Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
foreskin is a definite game changer
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
