If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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