dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
