I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
