people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
