you guys were way drunker than both of me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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