I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
