I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
