I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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