You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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