He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
