why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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