Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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