So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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