I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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