I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
