can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
