you turned your livingroom into a bong?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
