Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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