umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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