in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
