dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
