That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
