Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
