I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm both gender and math confused
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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