You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
