Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and she was petting her beer can
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
