just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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