I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
