He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I need moral support for this bender
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
