Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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