guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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