Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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