everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
