That's when you crack a 10am beer
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
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Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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