you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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