dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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