She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize